Let’s be real…

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So, yesterday had a whole mix of emotions when it came to my workout.  I did a walk/run where I would walk 5 minutes and run 1 minute for a total of 30 – 35 minutes.  I’ve been doing that for the past two weeks and my first attempt was 1.83 miles the second was a little more, progress!  Yesterday I made it to 2.06 miles.  I was excited to have made it past two miles in the time.  I’m not running the whole time, but walking and running intervals being the same, I went further.  That seemed to me to be progress!

After sitting down to dinner and to watch a bit of TV, I stood up and the pain from my achilles tendonitis seemed to have returned.  So, from the high of seemingly doing so much better, I hit a low because how can I be proud of myself when such a simple exercise debilitates me?  My husband keeps telling me I have to accept where I am not where I think I should be, and that makes sense and logically I can understand that, but I can’t figure out how to accept that my body can’t even handle 4 minutes of very slow running mixed with significant walk breaks.  Its just very disheartening to know that I’ve gone through several months of physical therapy, seem a podiatrist several times and have completely stopped doing anything that may strain my lower leg and its still causing me problems, problems that essentially limit the amount and intensity of activity I can do.  I would go out on a limb and say most people can expect maybe a bit of soreness after starting a more higher impact workout, but not many people would expect to not be able to put weight on one of their limbs because of it.

It makes it hard to make any goals.  Right now I have a goal pants size, but I hesitate to put a time frame on that because I’m worried I’ll end up hurting myself.  I’d like to have a goal running race sometime…

I don’t know, its just very difficult for me because I feel like my body is rebelling against doing the most basic, simple exercise, and I don’t understand why. In general, shouldn’t someone reasonably be able to expect to start walking and not have any significant pain as a result?  Frustrating!

I don’t expect anyone to relate or to provide any advice, I just needed to vent for myself.  Thank you for letting me get that off my chest!

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